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Side note: have you noticed in so many action films that there’s always something explosive and badass going on in Prague? It has a decent colour palette, but the script is woeful.

Scenes tend to go on forever, filled with dialogue that doesn’t exactly crackle, and character motivations are questionable at best. Malin Akerman () is the star here, playing a small-time crim who has reached the end of her usefulness in the seedy underbelly of drug trafficking, and it’s never possible to buy into it all.

The opening titles look and sound cheap (remember those great opening titles from with that incredible Alexandre Desplat score? Anyway, I digress) but after those initial bad vibes, the movie looks fine and is edited well, with a decent script. Max Adams directs a full-length version of his 2008 short film here, and he doesn’t do a bad job of it, all things considered.

You can clearly see where the budgetary corners have been cut: Patric’s stunt double is -level hilarious - at least half his age and a completely different body type - and a car chase near the end of the first act involves cutting from bad guys shooting at Patric’s car to him pushing the hot girl’s head down until she complies so many times that I hope no one unpacks that in the comments. While I wouldn’t call Precious Cargo’s 0% Rotten Tomatoes score breathtakingly unfair, I can think of worse films - and some of those are on this list.

It’s still nice to see a brief glimpse of a -era Bruce and, ehh, I’ll take it.

As this was the only DVD cover that had a review quote on the front - “INTENSE” – MTV News – I decided to pull that review, out of curiosity.

The added element here is that during Patric’s past career as a top notch killer he kinda accidentally murdered Bruce Willis’ family and it turns out Willis is still pissed about it, as you would be.

At this point, we’ll have our “oh yeah, Bruce Willis is in this, isn’t he?

The washed out visuals and quasi-clinical sets don’t do anything to draw us in, unfortunately.

The low budget is felt throughout - for a futuristic movie, everything still looks pretty current and the exterior locations are kinda still just Alabama.

Not sure you gave him much chance to follow through there, Bruce, but you’ve given us an idea on the capabilities of the script we’re about to sit through, so thanks. This time he’s not going to get out of it by himself, so his capable but hapless (at least, we’re relentlessly told he’s hapless) manbrick of a son, Kellan Lutz (), his one-time lover and love interest for these purposes. 'toe pick' Sweeney wandering around, chatting us through some exposition and hoping you’ll still remember he exists when he pops up in the climax later to chat us through yet more exposition.

We then realise that despite being the central focus of the front cover, Bruce isn’t going to be in this very much. The whole thing ends up being not totally awful, but just kind of dull and predictable – with Willis’ brief acting chops being the opposite of tested. is a film that desperately wants to capture the Rodriguez/Tarantino vibe of filmmaking, but doesn’t quite crush it in the way that it hopes to.

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It’s not exactly clear when Bruce Willis went from being a big star whose name filled seats and sold tickets to being a guy whose name you see on the cover of so many direct-to-DVD and VOD outings (albeit ones that sometimes get a week or two in a cinema, in essence to promote the VOD release), but I’d like to go out on a limb here and say that Kevin Smith’s mouth might be partly to blame.

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